News and Special Feelings!

This is my tour diary for the 2008 "Ees Niice" Tour featuring Ching Chong Song and Creaky Boards.

Of course, it would have been nice to update this little journal every day as I went along. But I was too busy having fun for that kind of nonsense. So we're just going to pretend that this is the way it was supposed to be.

4/24/8
I arrive in Berlin in the morning and find my way to Heiko's no problem. (Heiko is my most excellent chum in Berlin- a handsome young social worker who alternates between angry tiger and thoughtful kitten, depending on his mood).

I never sleep on planes but I was invigorated by being in my second-favorite city on such a perfect spring day. So rather than take a nap, Heiko and I went to meet Julie and her friend Lis in the park. (Julie is, of course, a member of Ching Chong Song and the most audaciously loving gal I know. Lis- I learned- is a tiny accordion-player from Florida.)

It was a glorious afternoon. We sang Ah-Ha and Johnny Nash covers under pink-blossomed trees. Heiko had to go to work but was soon replaced by Heiko2- a blonder, quieter version that Lis practiced dancing with. And why did they practice?
Because tonight was SWING NIGHT! Oh, it was so fun. Julie dressed me up in her tiniest skirt and we all sped off to a big, old German dance hall where they had "Bei Mir Bist Du Schoen" on a constant rotation. We were 3 girls and 1 boy so I pulled out my old high school moves and led the spare lady around the floor. A couple German dudes tried to pick up Lis and me by telling us that we were the worst dancers on the floor. I informed them that we were, in fact, awesome. And furthermore, I hadn't seen them dancing. They said that they only came to meet girls. Ah, that German charm.


4/25/8
I spent the night at Lis's and awoke to the sound of the Dans arriving. "The Dans" consisted of Dan Gower (pianist/singer/manly-cherub-of-joy for Ching Chong Song) and his boyfriend Dany (Lithuanian Jew from Venezuela/hot-shot financier-turned-tour manager and saint). They were so tan and full of fun. I was so happy to see them but I had to go pick up my cds at my old apartment in Kreuzberg. So I left.

That night was the first official night of the tour. We had a show at a place called "Speakeasy" somewhere in Mitte. I got there early, had a beer and went out for Chinese with James (my friend's Aussie then-boyfriend) and his band (who were also on the bill).

The show was rollicking; Lis's Mexican lover arrived from Paris; The bar owner was Irish and slipped me expensive whiskey; the tour was off to a booming start.


4/26/8
Woke up early and zoomed out to the airport to meet up with Dan, Dany and Julie. We took possession of our car. A Mercedes Benz station wagon. Pretty sweet. We had to pay more for insurance than we had anticipated, but what can one do?

Seven hour drive to Rotterdam. Ouch. But our spirits were high and we were excited to start the adventure (and to eat the first of many Burger King Kids Meals).

We arrive around 5 and find that our host is Dennis: a Dutchman of the cute, giggly and blond variety. A fella named Maurice is also there as liaisons for the "Live In Your Livingroom" Organization that sponsored the event. He's a towering hulk of a man in a sport jacket- slightly Frankenstein-ish (if Frankenstein had been really chill and liked indie-rock. Which he probably world have.)

The others went to pick up Andrew at the train station while I went for a stroll around the 'hood. Just lovely. Saw some ducks, saw some houseboats. Nether-rific.

Andrew showed up a little spaced from his day in Amsterdam, but still ready to party. (Andrew is the man behind "Creaky Boards". On this tour, he was trying out a solo project that involved him, some computer beats and a glockenspiel. As the ingenue of the tour, Andrew was impressively willing to have a really good time.)

The show was excellent. A tiny room, but full of nice folks. I set a record for my CD sales that I didn't meet again the rest of the tour.



But the real fun started after the show. We were all pretty drunk and giddy. Dennis and I were sitting on his eensie balcony when a man in a sombrero came stumbling out of a bar across the street. He was singing a lusty Dutch folk song into a microphone. He disappeared back into the bar. Dennis didn't even have to ask.

We ran down the stairs, across the street and into this odd little pub. Dennis bought me a beer and we danced around while the singing man changed from the sombrero into a captains hat. I guess it was some kind of regular thing. The people in the bar didn't seem all that amazed. But I thought it was spectacular.

Not wanting to hog the fun, we ran up and got the others and then everyone danced. That is, until Andrew (in a mushroom-induced bit of poor judgement) requested YMCA. The mood changed. It now sucked. We all trudged back to Dennis's, where the party was in full swing.

We were supposed to all crash at Dennis's place. But Julie had wisely befriended a young lady-scientist named Maardje and had secured the two of us real beds at her place.

When we arrived at her lovely home, Julie and I were suddenly a bit curious about Maardje's intentions; She immediately turned on the stereo and played what can only be described as "lesbian fuck music". Julie and I eyed eachother nervously. But it turns out she just loved us for our minds! And we loved her for hers. She draws Julie a tub and I get into a clean and comfy bed.

4/27/8
We awaken like little princesses. Maardje makes us eggs and bacon with coffee and 5 kinds of juice. We all hang out in Maardje's bathroom and give each other facials.

Somehow, the boys don't look quite as glowing when we find them hunched over coffee at Dennis's now-trashed apartment. But they're doing pretty well, considering.

We set off on a short and easy drive to Brussels. Arriving in the afternoon, we find ourselves at L’ecurie: a large art-squat on the outskirts of town. It's surrounded by circus wagons. There was some crazy installation upstairs with levers to pull and buttons to push. Sarcastic Frenchmen guarded the door.

The boys and I go off for a walk. We find a big ole church and some frites and then just lie on the grass in a little park. We talk about the jobs we've had. Birds twitter. Belgians frolic. We look around at each other with "can-you-believe-this-is-real?" faces.

We returned to the squat and ate a beautiful meal of leeks, quiche, potatoes and other vegetarian fare. A culinary highlight- especially eating in the rustic courtyard surrounded by lilacs and acrobats.

The show was good. It didn't feel super full, but then, it was a pretty massive room. I think it was okay. I had fun drinking Chimay and speaking French to a couple of patient young men at the bar. Everyone was really cool. Especially our host: David.

David (pronounced the French way, of course) looked exactly like Kevin Klein cross-bred to a lion. We were staying at his house while he stayed somewhere else. We found the apartment with our GPS but once we had driven around to find a parking space, we realized we had no idea where the street was. I had to break out my lousy French to ask some waitress in a window for directions.

The apartment was lovely. Ground floor. Pink walls. Little garden in the back. (A better version of mine back home!) Andrew swore he felt itching on his scalp. I told him he was nuts and fell asleep on David's daughter's loft-bed/slide.

4/28/8
In the morning, David showed up with bread and cheese. We drank coffee from tiny glasses. Julie noticed that, in fact, there were massive amounts of lice medication in the bathroom. We all started itching immediately. We almost re-named it the "Ees Lice" tour. But it turned out to be a false alarm. Praise God.

We drove off to Wuppertal, which had been described as a "shit town". It looked pretty delightful to me. Kinda serious in its architecture. But attractive. A few years ago, an elephant had fallen into the river from Wuppertal's famous suspended train car. That made it worth visiting in my book.

The venue ("Beatz und Keske") was a very 70's-Brady Bunch-style cafe and the owners were really nice. Warm cheese sandwiches all around (I scraped off the mayo). I took a walk around the town, listened to some Don Lennon on my ipod and bought a brassiere at a department store. I felt very pleased with myself.

The shows went well. Teens in the back, older guys in the front. As it should be. We sat around drinking gin-and-tonics afterwards and contemplated sleeping on the couches in this smokey room. It was not that horrible a prospect.

Luckily, though, while the others went out for doner-kebab, I stayed and chatted with a nice young drummer named Bernt. Bernt said we were welcome to stay with him and everyone agreed this sounded much better.

We sat around his kitchen table playing a rule-based drinking game called "Shoulders". I can't remember half of the rules we came up with --but I do remember that Bernt made us pick up an imaginary phone and greet Hitler. You gotta love a German who can joke about Hitler. It usually bespeaks an elevated mind.

4/29/8
Coffee and cigarettes and bread and cheese in the morning... (and every morning. forever.) We said a fond farewell to Bernt and took a stroll around the city. Julie and I ducked into a sex-shop looking for a present for Lis and her Mexican lover. Nothing seemed romantic enough. Andrew successfully returned a power-converter.

This was our day off. I had fucked up and forgotten to alert Piwi (our man in Frankfurt) that we would be arriving a day early. But we were able to get in touch with him and he said (in his sweet, Piwi way) that of course we were welcome to just show up. Which we did.

Piwi lives in the old town part of Frankfurt. I had met him two years ago when he came all the way to see me in Hannover. An illustrator (and a very good sport), he had hosted the mad Evershaggin' Tour of 2007, taken us on an all-day tour of downtown and told us we could come back any time.

This time, we were all pretty beat from our competition the night before and I'm afraid we weren't very entertaining guests. But Piwi and I sat around his kitchen table with his new roommate (named BooHoo) and talked about the less-romantic aspects of an artist's life. I think we bummed each other out a little. Time to drink some beer.

4/30/8
I was already worrying about running out of CDs, so in the morning Piwi took me to a photocopy shop to make some copies of my cover art. It was such a pretty day in Frankfurt and we probably should have stayed outside, but the pull of comfy mattresses and comic books was too strong.

I read something called "Blankets" that Andrew recommended. Pretty good, I thought (though I'm always suspicious when the artist draws himself really handsome.)

We finally rallied the troops to go on a walk around the old town. It was pretty darn medieval. We stopped at a little outdoor spot and Piwi treated us to a round of apfelwein and potatoes with green sauce. Delicious. (Andrew is working on the recipe even as I write this.)

Back at home, BooHoo was hard at work on a BBQ in the back alley. Julie and I entertained him with cover songs while he cooked us tasty, big wursts. We loved the shuffling, sad-eyed BooHoo (and were delighted, later, to find that we loved his music too!)

Soundcheck was a little delayed so Julie, Andrew and I went for a tiny stroll. We found a wooden alligator for them to hump (always something to do in Frankfurt). Getting back, I sat outside and chatted with Dan until a little voice from behind me asked if he could join our conversation. This was Sam, who would prove to be a continuing character in our tour. The 21-year-old son of an Aussie dancer and a German choreographer, Sam was already a dad himself. But he still had the bearing of a smart-aleck freshman hanging out with the seniors. We liked him right away.

The show at Cafe Andrea Doria was packed- (not too hard to do in a tiny restaurant, but it felt good anyway.) Piwi seemed pleased and I was happy that we'd done him proud after all his work and kindness. We all headed off to another bar nearby where we were promised free drinks. What a town!

They were playing some pretty good soul in the back so you know that we were going to get our dance on. And so we did. Some crazy lady took my Creaky Boards pin. It made her so happy. Piwi twisted. Andrew thrusted. I don't know what I did, but I'm sure it looked great.

Stay tuned for the next installment...

Labels: Ching chong song, creaky boards, europe, tour